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Premier League - Gameweek 3 Awards

Game of the Round – Norwich 2-3 Chelsea

After the Canaries' scorching hot start to their new life in the Prem, this one looked like another ripe old banana skin for Fat Frank. It was a classic tale of newly promoted brave heart’s holding their own against the might of real-life Premier League big-wigs. The first half was goals galore as the net bulged four times inside the first half hour. Bright young thing Tammy Abraham doubled his tally midway through the second half with an adorable solo strike to claim all three points for the Blues.

Hero of the Round – Joelinton

Mike Ashley probably had to lay off a whole army of sweatshop workers to find the £40 million he needed to bag the bleach-blonde Brazilian.

But after two games without finding the net, the fat controller must have feared he'd botched yet another one of his business dealings. With the trip to White Hart Lane looming, a third straight defeat was on the cards, but the Toon’s newest star striker came up trumps, striking on the half hour mark to put his side ahead for the first time this season.

After displaying all the defensive resolve of Amir Khan against Norwich, few expected them to stem the white tide but they did to claim a much-needed three points.

Goal of the Round - Ashley Barnes

A quintessentially Burnleyesque long ball over the top caused Wolves’ defence to swing wide open. When the ball dropped to Barnes he took it on his chest and, with the defender closing in, was forced to hit in on the bounce belting it with his laces across goal and swishly into the bottom corner. A shining example of how to render a keeper 100% redundant.

Chump of the Round – Florin Andone

The Romanian’s harrowing first-half lunge against Southampton was the sort to make you question when exactly the lad last had a psych evaluation. To use the word ‘tackle’ is to actually embellish a witness account of the incident – it was border-line assault. Whether you care a jot about the physical well-being of another human is by-the-by, but the hothead cost his side dearly as Southampton romped to a precious away win.

There is mitigation though, if you’ll allow for it. Andone was no doubt still seething from what happened before kick off - his team mate Bernardo pranking him good and proper with a crack on the ankle players entered the stadium. Timeless japes! The baffling incident was luckily caught by T.V cameras and perhaps explains his sour mood.