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11 Glorious Commentary Meltdowns

Supposedly the cool, calm voice of reason, seeing the action and relaying it for their viewers to digest, there’s nothing better than a commentator getting too involved in the game they're watching and flipping out.

In no particular order, are some of our very favourite commentary meltdowns.

Mick Morgan – Castleford v Wigan, 1994

Morgan, a former Castlefield coach, rides roughshod over several key rules of commentary, namely: a) even vague sense of impartiality b) vocal clarity and c) not branding the referee a dickhead.

A strong contender for most Yorkshire-man of all time, his ire at an iffy call followed by sheer and unbridled love for his team is sensational to listen to.

Colombian Commentator - Colombia v Uruguay, 2014

As James Rodriguez continued to stamp his name all over the 2014 World Cup with a wonderstrike in the round of 16, one broadcaster back home truly lost his melon for the best part of a minute.

Manages to nail the staccato bellowing as the ball thuds in off the underside of the bar before launching into an epic GOOOOOOOAAAAAALLLLL. Infectiously wonderful stuff.



 

Ali Brownlee - Middlesbrough v Steaua Bucharest, 2006

Everything about Boro’s charge to the UEFA Cup Final was astonishing in hindsight. Steve McLaren was a hotly tipped young manager as they saw off European heavyweights such as Roma and Stuggart en route.

Their quarterfinal was sensational as the holy trinity of Viduka, Hasselbaink and Macarone clawed back a 3-0 aggregate scoreline in the 90th minute to win 4-3.

An even more astonishing story unfolded in the semis against Steaua Bucharest who took a 1-0 lead with them to the Riverside before quickly grabbing two away goals, leaving Boro needing four again.

Three strikes in a frantic final half an hour, including another 90th minute winner from Macarone, sent the BBC’s local commentator, Brownlee, haywire.

He builds nicely throughout the match before flipping out into a glorious rant about the origins of his beloved hometown before finally inviting everyone round to his house for Parmo. Enjoy.

Jack Van Gelder – Holland v Argentina, 1998

A seminal goal belted out in the most fantastic fashion. Dutch is clearly a fine language for hysterical barking.

Mystery College Football Match

American sports’ love of larger than life personalities and ear shattering hyperbole is a treat that often spills over in the commentary box. The co-commentator’s reaction to the touchdown is priceless. The apoplexy when it get’s chalked off is something else as he throws down his mic and screams ‘BOOOO’, ‘HORRIBLE FOOTBALL’ seemingly at the wall.

Danny Kelly – Arsenal v Spurs, 2009

Another who threw impartiality and professionalism out of the window when Aaron Lennon bagged a late equaliser at the Emirates. Things to enjoy include the commentator underselling the moment somewhat by shouting ‘believable football!’ just prior to Kelly going off on one and bellowing his love for football from the rooftops. Lovely stuff.

Some Dude – LWC v Georgetown

To be fair, it’s a pretty astonishing moment. Not sure why but this one seems to be made all the better by the fact that the commentator sounds strangely like Joe from Family Guy when he’s yelling.

Carlo Zampa - Juventus v Roma, 2010

10 out of 10 for finding a line and length that works here and sticking diligently to it. A real Glen McGrath of the mic, Zampa belts the shit out the word ‘GOAL ‘19 times with a genuinely astonishing intensity after John Arne Riise found a late winner.

One of the eternal debates I have with myself is whether this, or the famous Kraken release of 2005, is the greatest Riise clip on the internet.

Bjørge Lillelien – Norway v England, 1981

The original. A timeless rant after a shock win for the Scandanavians that ends with Lillelien calling out Margaret Thatcher and informing her ‘Your boys took a hell of a beating!’

Geoff Boycott – England v Australia, 1997

Cricket’s not really a sport that lends itself to too much overflowing passion in the commentary box, no matter what the drama at the crease. The closest you’ll get is that old ball bag Boycott on his laughably pompous high horse, which is demonstrated perfectly here.

References to a female family member – check.

Overbearing air of superiority – check

Bangs on at tedious length – check

Vintage Boycs.

Ray Hudson – Take your pick

Peruse any of his gold on Youtube. It’s all sensational. Here's are various homages to Riquelme, Ronaldo and Messi.

Pete Starr
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